It starts with a smile, laugh, a kiss. The first date. Dinner, movies, everything that could possibly go wrong isn’t cause he’s there with her, holding her. It’s like a fairy tale. The prince has finally rescued the princess and swept her up on his magnificently white horse. I know it sound cliché but hey, it’s a fairytale. Butterflies set up camp in her stomach, and no matter how hard she tries to make them settle down he looks at her with that puppy dog eye look that just makes those butterflies get all excited and start fluttering around again. It’s seems like the perfect couple, the kind of love that lasts forever. Well that’s what she thought.
Drinking, a deadly killer, trouble maker, the devil that is just tempting. It’s hard to imagine this simple beverage could get in between this fairy tale couple. It starts out with one night out with the buddies, dragging the princess with, which at the time is all fine and dandy. But then weekend after weekend he starts to go out , mostly on his own now. Who’s there for her? No one. Friends are gone, neglected because of the prince. Can you imagine a princess without a friend. It’s not hard. That one person she does talk to is always busy or never calls back, but it’s ok the princess is strong. It’s just a phase, it’ll pass, right?
One night after another, princess is getting lonelier and lonelier. Now the prince is doubting the relationship, is she cheating on him? Why should he care he doesn’t pay attention to her, he’s not even in the same world as her most the time. Not enough time for her was the problem, which he quickly solved by breaking it off.
Rejection, hurt, pain, tears, how could the prince leave the princess? Unimaginable. Now a year later and feelings for each other still rage but the prince won’t let his life go for the one he’ll regret losing forever. Where that prince with the white horse, what happened to him? Her life, her love….it’s gone.
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2 comments:
Enjoyable reading. I wanted to skim the first story and then write a little note, but you kept me interested. Gook work.
Writer's Name: Jen
Reviewer's Name: Melissa Bayer
I noticed your good use of imagery. You kept my attention throughout the whole thing and I didn't want to stop reading.
I liked the way that you kept referring to your people as the prince and princess. It gave it a new air that is refreshing compared to the everyday droll that we're forced to read.
I wondered if the princess did anything that first night that she tagged along with the prince and his friends that made him start to go out without her and eventually leave her behind.
I would suggest a little more detail with things. Not much though, because too much in something like this would make it lose its charm. I think it's nearly perfect the way you've written it.
Strong words, phrases, and images in the writing: Pick any random sentence from your entry. Every line has such good images. It's like you put so much thought into every word, sentence and thought that your words paint a million tiny pictures.
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